To Be Virgin Or Not

To Be Virgin Or Not, That is the Question

Does it make sense that males as well as females stay virginal prior to marriage? Does it make sense that persons not eat a delicious meal prior to their 21st birthday because they are saving the taste treat for some time in the future? Does it make sense to forego any pleasurable experience that does us no harm, until some time in the future? What if the future never comes? Answers to these questions depend upon the harmful aspects of not being virginal, or the harmful effects of eating nothing except a Spartan diet. If there are no harmful effects, what reason do we have for abstaining from sex or food?

I fully understand there are religious laws that advise what we should do are not do. The Orthodox Churches want to control marriage, births and deaths. For some folks this is good enough reason to be illogical. For others, there are no good reasons not to indulge except for possible health reasons.

Unwanted pregnancies are no longer valid reasons for not having pre-marital sex with the advent of effective birth control. The dangers of venereal disease need not be a reason to abstain from premarital sex if precautions are taken. So, why not have premarital sex? I can find no good reason to deprive oneself of a pleasurable experience.

The debate continues: those for premarital sex often liken the experience to taking a test drive before buying an automobile. Or tasting food (wine) before consuming it. That makes sense to most everyone. So why not have premarital sex? If the possibility of contracting a disease or becoming pregnant is eliminated, what other reasons remain. True, the inequality of the sexes might still be a reason, all be it an invalid reason. A woman engaging in premarital sex is still considered cheap, without morals, and libel to continue that behavior post marriage by narrow-minded people. This, of course, is unfair to women and is totally bunk. What applies to the gander also applies to the goose. Why not both the potential husband and the wife test-drive the new car?

Getting back to religious sexual restrictions, The bible is often used as a marriage guide, but sexual and marriage rules are so varied in that book one can pick and chose any passages to justify any kind of behavior. And, celibate priests are not ideal marriage counselors especially those who violate their vows.

Mature, intelligent people should be able to effectively consider the options. Sex prior to marriage can well be an effective method of intimately knowing a future marriage partner. After the sexual drive is appeased a man and a woman might ask themselves, “Do I still love this potential partner and want to spend the rest of my life with him or her?” Often, sex plays too large a role in marriage. A successful marriage must be based upon many factors, which sex often hides. By temporarily dampening sex, one can better make wiser decisions.

Please consider that in no way am I recommending indiscriminate sex to anyone. But, under certain conditions premarital sex may be an ideal behavior to better know a potential marriage partner.

 

 

 

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About cgosling

I am a retired medical/scientific illustrator who has given up illustration to write about science, superstition, and secular humanism. I consider myself all of the following: atheist, agnostic, secular humanist, freethinker, skeptic, and nature lover. I have several published books but the mass of my writing is unpublished. I write children's fiction, poetry, essays, and several plays and radio theater shows, that are available as free downloads to be used on secular podcasts and meetings. They can be heard on Indy Freethought Radio. I hope some of my writings will be of interest to like minded freethinkers who I cordially invite to respond.
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